Motherhood & Baby blues

When me and my husband were trying to have a baby it was a very long and difficult process and when it finally happened I was at a place in my life and head that if it didn't ever happen I would be ok because we had a great life together. We had been together almost 11 years before I got pregnant and when we found out we couldn't be more happy. 

People always tell you when your pregnant " your life is going to  change forever" and it is true and apart from the obvious changes people don't always tell you about the things in life you don't expect to change...  Things like it now takes you an hour just get get out the door to run to the store instead of just grabbing your wallet and keys, you have to schedule your life around one tiny person who eats sleeps & poops on a timed schedule and all things revolve around those times. 

Those summer BBQ's that you have every weekend with friends & girls nights are no longer care free and full of margaritas, it's baby's bed time is 7:30 and I can't drink because I don't wanna pump & dump that liquid gold milk that is such a pain to make... Friends lives go on without you while your at home taking care of your precious little new love and
sometimes it feels like they might have forgot about you or they are to busy and you feel Lonely and miss that girl time & gossip. Weather it's baby blues or just morning the loss of your former life it's hard and they say it's ok , we understand ,  things will get easier , in the meantime you have your hormones trying to get back to normal and trying not to lock yourself in a closet with a screaming teething baby..

Obviously there are the good changes that comes with a new life..

 Experiencing things in a whole new way and unconditional love from someone who doesn't even know how to walk or talk yet let alone even understand what love means. 

It's a best friend forever through good times and bad because she is stuck with me for the rest if her life.. 

a new shopping buddy and someone to laugh and grow with because you both have no clue what your doing and she loves you even if you have baby spit up running down the back of your shirt and didn't have time to brush your teeth.

like dancing around with your friends looking like a drunken idiot are now changed to dancing around your baby just trying to hear that cute little laugh and giggles. (not that i was this huge party girl)   

i used to get so excited over new shoes and pretty makeup but now its new teeth and baby gap sales and the look on her face when she first wakes up in the morning and sees me and gets the biggest smile on her face

its someone to snuggle with when I'm feeling those baby blues because I wouldn't trade her for all the margaritas and gossip in the world.

Once upon a time.. A little story about me

 

There was a girl and a boy who fell in love and got married they decided they wanted to have a baby and after two miscarriages and 4 years of trying to get pregnant God finally blessed them with a beautiful baby girl  Kinsley Elizabeth. It was a very hard road to get pregnant and I was finally at the point in my life where if it didn't happen, I knew it would be okay and my life would be fine and filled with love and adventures. when out of the blue I took a test and bam! the best little surprise.  We found out we were having a girl and couldn't be more happy I had a feeling it was a girl from the very start and my husband just melted he had wanted and prayed for a boy but she has him wrapped around her finger



It was a long and sometimes difficult pregnancy with gestational diabetes    but this baby was more important than all the Ice cream cake in the world so I ate healthy low carbs for 9 whole  months and finally our little diva came and boy did she make an entrance! I had to have an emergency c- section  because her heart rate wasn't tolerating contractions and would go up every time I would have one. I was so scared but I knew God would get us through it.   She was born October 16th at 8:42 am and I couldn't wait for them to place her in my arms and say "here's your beautiful baby girl"  but that didn't happen like I planned in fact nothing with this pregnancy had gone like I "planned"  because I had gestational diabetes and because I had a c section her body was still acting as if she were inside still and her blood sugars were dangerously low because her body was making up for mine having to be low.. she also was having a hard time breathing on her own and had a slight heart mummer  that whole first day I didn't even get to see her just the back of her head as they wheeled me through the room  it was so scary and  I wasn't sure what was going on but I knew something was up the longer it took for them to bring her to me but I was so out of it because of the pain meds. Thank god for my amazing husband he hardly left her side.

 She spend one whole month in the NICU and it was very hard and difficult Once her breathing and blood sugars were fine we had to wait for her to eat the right amount of food to gain weight and stay hydrated  and because she had a feeding tube it was way more difficult then you would think. you think it should just come so natural to  new baby and for you to be able to feed them and when it doesn't happen they way it should you think what's wrong with me why cant I just feed my kid ,not to mention all the rules and procedures the doctors and nurses have to follow..but like all things in life God got us through it and she is a happy and healthy 3 month old .

 

And so here's one momma's love of life
 with all things beauty ,fashion & of course all things baby .